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:iconredwingkstrl87: More from RedwingKstrl87




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August 17, 2006
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“We’re going back to the hotel, Sara. Maybe we can get together later. That is, unless you’d like to come help me torture these fools and show them what real strength is.” The sly, wicked, evil smile that danced on Anna’s face was too rich to refuse.
           “Oh, I’d be delighted. I haven’t had such fun in months. Can I give them a little job to do now?” She grinned, returning the nasty intentions.
          The boys looked positively horrified. Their mouths had dropped, their eyes wide. The glaive kid began to protest, arguing that he hadn’t done anything wrong.
          “Go ahead,” Anna said coldly. “They wouldn’t refuse the AnimAn.”
          Their mouths dropped further, if that was even possible. Immediately the apologies began, along with praises and all that stuff Sara couldn’t stand. But the three boys continued jabbering.
           “My lady, I deeply apologize for my behavior and that of my friends. Your Highness should not have to be present at such rudeness.”
           “…”
          “It is a pleasure to meet you, my Lady. Truly an honor. I am sorry if I disturbed you earlier, please accept my most humble apologies.”
          “Cut it out, all of you,” Sara’s voice sounded tired, yet still strong with a tinge of annoyance. “To truly display your remorse, you can sprint to your hotel, and when you get there, you shall do push-ups until we get there. And don’t you think of stopping, because I’m sending a wind to watch you.”
         She plucked a nearby breeze and politely asked it to watch the boys and howl around them if they shirked their punishment. The breeze chuckled and swirled around them as the boys ran off, revealing its presence. They ran faster.
         “That was just too good,” Sara laughed.
         “Oh yes, it is very entertaining to torture them,” Anna still had the evil smile spread across her face.
         Sara and Anna walked down the street, now and then catching sight of the three shaman running from a small wind tunnel. To make the boy’s lives harder, they spent much time meandering through shops of jewelry, weapons, magical artifacts, or clothing.
        “So who are those two guys?” Sara asked. “The two with Matt?”
        “They’re his friends he picked up a while ago, Yoshi and Alex. He has a third friend who’s non-magical, Trout, but they lost him. Just keep your eyes peeled for a red-headed shorty,” Anna replied airily.
         Sara laughed lightly and tested the weight of a scimitar.
         "You don’t need any of these little trinkets,” Anna told her. “Why are you looking at this stuff? You have your own armory richer than any of these places.”
         Sara could sense the glare of the shopkeeper and winced.
         “Anna, it’s good to know what quality the weapons are these days. If there is anything that fits the requirement, I’ll take it. The other day I found a beautiful star stone dagger. You never know what you may find,” Sara stated casually as they left. The shopkeeper looked less angry as he bid them good day. “In truth, I also keep an eye out for trapped spirits and dangerous weapons or such. I uncovered a cursed amulet hiding a lava demon at a toy store in Los Angeles. Not for children, to say the least.”
         They arrived at the hotel to find the manager shouting at the boys, angry that they were doing push-ups on his doorsteps and scaring away customers with their moaning. The breeze was spinning around them playfully.
          Sara and Anna looked at each other, exchanging silent laughter before composing themselves.
          As they approached, Alex began demanding “to be released from this torture! I did nothing to deserve this!” And so on.
And the story continues. A plot shall come eventually. I just have to decide on it first...:D
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:iconavahin:
Avahin Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2006   Writer
w?” I grinned, returning the nasty intentions.
i?
mouths dropped further
synonym for dropped
“My lady, I deeply apologize for my behavior and that of my friends. Your Highness should not have to be present at such rudeness.”
“…”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, my Lady. Truly an honor. I am sorry if I disturbed you earlier, please accept my most humble apologies.”
who the heck is talking?
As they approached, Alex began demanding “to be released from this torture! I did nothing to deserve this!” And so on.
try making Alex actually say this

okay, so they're in modern times...modern people speak a more modern language, as much as you'd hate to admit it, it's true. I await the next piece
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:iconredwingkstrl87:
RedwingKstrl87 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2006
Whoops, forgot I'm supposed to be using third person :)
Why do I need a synonym for dropped?
The boys are talking, is it that hard to tell?
I like Alex not saying it better.
I don't understand you last comment :D
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:iconavahin:
Avahin Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2006   Writer
but which boys? because you use dropped twice in a row and it's repetative, but my comments are only suggestions, do as you wish
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:iconredwingkstrl87:
RedwingKstrl87 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2006
Most of your suggestions are best taken to heart. There are only three boys in the story as of now. I see repetative. I might fix.
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